A "Simple" Foundation...

When you look at the picture above, what do you see? I am assuming that the majority of individuals see a simple slab of concrete…something under construction. But, this picture displays something much deeper than a construction site. Yes, this is just concrete. Yes, it is something that is under construction. BUT in addition to those simplicities, this is a foundation. Not just a foundation to a future building, but also a foundation to needed change. It is a foundation for growth to occur. It is a foundation that was built to fulfill a God given vision. This foundation means the world to not only myself but to many others…there is nothing “simple” about this foundation.

The foundation that you see in the picture is the foundation for the future Therapy Center at Respire Haiti. This foundation will be the strength, the support that will hold the PT/OT and mental health programs. Both programs are currently functioning out of the medical clinic, but have outgrown the space. These programs serve not only individuals associated with Respire Haiti programs, but also to individuals in the community. I am going to focus on the PT/OT program, as this is the program that I am obviously involved in the most. (But I will make a side note – the mental health program is near and dear to my heart as it is an extremely important program at Respire. Mental health intervention and counseling is HIGHLY needed!!!

PT/OT...

The PT/OT program began in an 8x8 room with just one American OT (myself) and a handful of kids from the Respire Haiti Christian School. Within a few weeks, the program grew from around 10 patients to around 25. Within in a few months, well over 40 patients had come to the front gate of the clinic in search of therapy services. Just a few months after the program began, it was realized that this program was on its way to a rapid growth. The need was bigger than we could have imagined. The need was overwhelming for this one OT to manage. Quickly, trained staff was hired and the program moved into a larger room where it is currently located. A very long story short, the program has provided services to over 240 patients and families. It currently provides full-time employment to three nationals. In addition, patients have received chairs, walkers, standers, canes, etc. Families have received love and care. Hope has been shown through sharing the gospel and God’s love for ALL of HIS children.

But…..

The program is currently stuck in a hard place. The need for therapy services has only increased. A waiting list of over 90 patients has become a consistent reality. Patients show up on a DAILY basis in search of therapy services. Due to space issues, we cannot hire more staff members, we cannot intake more patients…we simply cannot grow the program. We are in a difficult place. Entire communities of people are unable to be reached because we cannot fit them into our program due to lack of space. My heart continues to break by the day as I add another name to the waiting list. My heart continues to break as I have to continuously look a loving mother or father in the eye and tell them they have to wait on a phone call….and I cannot tell them when that phone call will occur. My heart continues to break as patients become unreachable due to phone number changes or inability to pay for minutes. My heart continues to break when we finally call a family on the waiting list and they have already chosen to give up their child because they had lost all hope and confidence in their ability to care for their child. My heart continues to break because we cannot grow the program to intake more patients simply because we do not have space.

The foundation shown in the picture exemplifies hope, love, excitement, and most importantly, God’s mercy and grace. I am trying to rest in faith and trust in God’s plan for the special needs population, but honestly, it is hard. I would love to write about the never-ending faith and the never existent doubts…but that is not the reality, that is not truth. The special needs population in Haiti is truly the least of the least of these and as the days go on and the longer this foundation sits without a building to hold up…my faith teeters on the edge. I am left to potentially face the fact that this foundation was built to be just a foundation. I am left with feelings of sadness and fear that a building will never be built upon this solid, or maybe not too solid, foundation.

I can only fall into deep prayer. That feeling of your faith wavering is not a comfortable feeling. It is is a feeling that I do not want to admit to or own or hold myself accountable for; however I know I must do all those things. There is growth in that! I know in God’s timing, the building will come. I will continue to have strong faith in the growth of the PT/OT program. I will fully and strongly believe that one day…one day soon…more patients will be reached and more families will be kept together. I do believe more individuals will find hope and faith in God. I will continue to keep holding onto that belief. 

The foundation in that picture is far from a “simple” slab of concrete. The foundation signifies God’s love, mercy, grace, forgiveness, and his power to love the least of the least of these.   

Please join me in prayer over the holiday season and into the new year. Prayer for this vision to come to life. Prayer for funding to come in to make this a reality. Prayer that this foundation will one day have an amazing building resting upon it to welcome more individuals to receive God's love and care. 

***After prayer, if you feel led to come alongside us and join this project financially, then please visit www.respirehaiti.org and click on the "Donate" button. Select "Therapy Center" from the list and follow the steps.*** 

When earthly efforts are not enough....

Originally written September 21, 2017

Sometimes earthly efforts are not enough….

Yesterday was a tough day in so many ways. It was a day that started with difficulties...with feelings of not doing things “the right way” or “good enough” (this is for another post). It was a day that quickly led into a medical emergency. A precious mama came into clinic with her 2-year-old daughter. I watched from afar as the security guard requested she sit on a bench and then began looking for Megan. After a couple minutes, I saw what looked like a black eye on the daughter. I walked over to kind of just see what was going on…I realized quickly this was a case for medical care. I quickly recruited Dr. Alicia as Junie was busy with pre-natal clinic. I told Alicia that I would be around if she needed anything and she said she was not sure what this was and asked me to go into the exam room with her and the patient…so I stayed for moral support per her request. The little girl had intense blisters and sores on her eye, tongue, back, abdomen, and one forming on her thigh and a few places on her face. Her breathing was labored and she had diarrhea. We quickly realized she needed to be referred to a hospital. We got it arranged to send her to our #1 referring hospital. Upon arrival, she got turned away for “being too severe” from what we were told. They referred her to another hospital. She was taken there. That hospital did not have any available beds. So off they went to another hospital…and yes, turned away there as well because once again, no open beds. We were frantically searching for a place to send her - - the hospital we wanted to send her to next was very far away and a logistical nightmare to get her there safely. Through a few suggestions and 6 hours later, we got her admitted at a hospital in Port-au-Prince. She was immediately placed on oxygen and began the road to recovery…

...or so we thought….

Today…today….we received the news that she passed away this afternoon. Initially we could not get the answers that we needed…actually the answers that we wanted. We were all trying to process the events of yesterday as we questioned if we handled matters appropriately. If we went through the proper steps to get this little girl the help that she needed. Of course, intellectually we knew that we did what we could with the resources we had at the time, BUT sometimes our flesh, our hearts take over and we question our actions. As the day went on, we finally got information that we desperately needed (or again, wanted). The events that led to her death are as follows - she was at the hospital, on oxygen, receiving the care she needed. The nurse (or nurses) stepped out of the room to retrieve a NG tube to insert in order to safely provide her food and medication. While the nurses were gone, the mother got up and tried to give her daughter some milk. When she did, her daughter aspirated causing asphyxiation. This little girl did not have any special needs and was typically able to eat and drink without difficulty; however the illness she had contracted caused difficulty with breathing and swallowing. 

So there we sat…processing that information…

Her precious mama truly did not know that she could not give her daughter milk. She saw that her daughter was upset and hungry and she wanted to feed her daughter. We are left to ask how long the nurses left the room for - was it really just a couple of minutes? Or longer? We are left to wonder if the mom had been educated on her daughter’s difficulty with swallowing and advised not to feed her. We are left to wonder and assume a lot of things. But we cannot get stuck in the viscous cycle of “what if’s” and “what could have beens”. Being in that cycle solves and helps nothing. 

It’s easy here to jump to “if we were in the states, then…..”. But we cannot let ourselves go there. We can process that and we can be thankful by the fact that we were fortunate (blessed) to have been born in the United States where there is accessibility to so much more healthcare, better healthcare than Haiti. But we cannot get stuck there. Haiti is not the states and we cannot compare the two (especially in regards to health care).  

The bottom line, fact of the matter is, Jesus is everywhere. He is in the US….and He is in Haiti. Situational matters do not change that fact. God was here yesterday and today and he will be tomorrow and all the days to follow. God loves us all just the same. And He has a plan for each and every one of us. Many things occur that we will never understand in this lifetime - such as a precious little child passing away - but we have to maintain our faith and find peace and hope in His promises and His promises alone. 

And tonight, that is where I am resting, in His Word. In His promises. 

***i do not mean to disclose the sensitive details of this precious little one’s death; however awareness must be raised as this is the reality of the health care system in Haiti. Poor to no education for the parents. Poor accessibility to needed healthcare due to fear of cases or lack of beds. It is a reality here on a daily basis….but it is a sad, hard reality. Education and awareness is key. The hard stuff has to be exposed and opened for discussion.