Friday, May 25, 2018

Questions Intermingled with Victories


I hope you all have been blessed by reading about sweet Lala and her amazing papa. If you have not yet, then I encourage you to read the following blogs: 
"A Dad Holding His Child" (May 2016)
"The Journey of Lala" (March 2017)
"What's Up with Lala??" (May 2017)

Lala holds a very special place in my heart. This is true for many others who have been written gracefully into her story by our amazing Father. Her family loves her deeply and has overcome all adversities to successfully care for her. And now...Lala, well, she is walking. That is right, WALKING!!!! She is on the move and the world better watch out because she may just take over. The first time Lala walked in the clinic, I was brought to tears. I watched her papa just look at her walking with a smile on his face and a hand in the air praising our good Lord as he was so excited to introduce me to her. Lala and her papa have an inseparable bond and he is genuinely, wholeheartedly proud of her and her accomplishments. You know how are heavenly Father loves each of us, each of His children unconditionally? Well, that is Lala’s papa…he LOVES her UNCONDITIONALLY. He does not see her as a child with Down Syndrome. He views Lala as his precious gift from God who was made PERFECTLY. So many life lessons from this powerful duo. All the glory to God…. 

But…as I watched Lala walking around while her precious papa was looking on with the brightest smile I have ever seen, I could not help but to look at the mom of the other little girl in the room. I wondered what was going through her mind at that exact moment. She smiled and laughed as she watched Lala cruising around...then she would look at her own daughter and the smile would slowly fade away. It was not because love does not exist or her bond was limited, but her little girl has more significant disabilities and is not yet rolling or sitting or using her arms. The day of her being the one walking around the therapy room as every one rejoiced seemed very distant, potentially even impossible, at that exact moment. The fear and sadness was written upon her mother’s face. As I sat and rejoiced in Lala’s progress and her newly developed skill, I also fell into prayer for the other little girl and her mom. I wish I could tell them that one day, this will be them celebrating over the same victories; however I do not know that. Only God knows. It was then that I was reminded that the future of these kiddos and their families are unknown, unpredictable. Some of these children may never sit or stand or walk independently. Others may not learn to dress or feed themselves. At the same time, many will achieve all these milestones. So how do I answer the questions, “will she walk?”, “will she talk?”, “how come my child is not sitting or walking, but other kids are”, etc. Each question pierces my heart as I am not able to fully answer these questions. I often find myself saying “Bondeye Konnen”…”God Knows”. And that is the truth - It is not for us to try to figure it all out this side of heaven. I can encourage. I can educate. I can LOVE. I can CARE. I can PRAY. Every day we tend to be faced with the look of hopelessness…the look of fear…the look of desperation. A smile may be painted upon ones face, but the eyes tell the real story. I feel sometimes as each day passes, my heart is broken a little more. At the same time, joy fills the spaces that a broken heart tends to leave. A simple way of saying it - each day brings sadness but also much joy. For now, I will rejoice in the victories and I will pray through the questions. I will lay it all down at His feet. 








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