Shortly after I arrived in Haiti, a young girl came into my life. This young child showed up one day at the clinic about 3 weeks after I started working in the clinic. One day I walked into the clinic after lunch and she was standing in the middle of the room. I thought nothing of it until I heard my name being called from across the room by another therapist. This therapist “quickly” filled me in on the story about this young child. Every one thought this little girl may have Autism. All I learned at that moment was that she didn’t verbally communicate, she was extremely aggressive with hitting and biting constantly, she didn’t transition well, etc., etc., etc. I asked what she could do…but I received no answer. I also learned she had been receiving services previously; however she had stopped coming in May. When I asked why, I got this answer, “her mother and grandmother took her to get a brain scan and they were waiting for the results”. I was slightly confused on the whole situation…okay, well actually I was really confused. I did not know what “scans” she got (and no one could really tell me)…and I wondered why it would take 3 months for the results to get in….and I still do not know what the results even were. I also quickly realized that I would be the one working with her…no one else was jumping at the chance and in fact…some may have even quietly exited the clinic for a minute. (I don’t want that to paint a negative picture of my coworkers…none of them have ever worked with a child who has been diagnosed with Autism or sensory processing deficits, so she was a difficult case for them...it is not as common here as in the US). Of course, I agreed to be the one to work with her weekly. Even though I have experience in working with children on the Autism Spectrum, I knew that this would be a big challenge. I depended a lot on verbal cuing when treating children on the spectrum….I do not not speak fluent Creole, so I could no longer depend on verbal communication. But none the less, I accepted the challenge without a blink of the eye because I knew this child was special…she was a child of God after all! The first session with her began extremely well…who knew she would love “barrel o’ monkeys”?!?! Ha!!! After I had about 10 monkeys hanging from my hair (any possibly after many strands of hair went missing from my head), the aggression began! Hitting, biting, scratching, and pinching. I quickly realized she was simply looking for a response. When I did not respond with anger, she appeared slightly confused. That is when I learned that she is often HIT at home. I am not talking about a little spanking…I am talking HIT. She is hit A LOT at home. Caregiver education is the most important part of her therapy!! This little girl has learned to communicate through aggressive behavior. Problem. So she demonstrates aggressive behavior along with minimal verbal communication and some sensory processing deficits. But her facial expressions will make you laugh and it hurts and will make you instantly fall in love with her!! She is ONE OF A KIND...just as God intended her to be :)!!!!
As the weeks went on, session after session was a struggle for both of us. We had good moments and we had bad moments. (Not to mention a missed therapy session due to her falling into the toilet…bad situation). We both ended every session in a massive amount of sweat. Each and every session I tried to give direction as best as I could and she just would not follow simple directions. I tried everything. But we just were not connecting. I prayed for her and I prayed for me…I prayed for us.
And just as I felt defeated and discouraged, something amazing happened. Last Friday another therapist was able to join me in my session…I strongly encouraged other staff members to work with the child with me so I could teach them about Autism since I will be leaving in 6 short weeks. During this session, I realized that the young girl and I had in fact made a connection. It was then that I realized how blinded I was to this connection…yes, she may not have always followed directions or completed tasks or did anything but sit under the mat table, but she saw that I was still there…I stayed with her during all these moments…I stayed with her while she hit and bit and scratched…I stayed with her and didn’t hit her or yell at her. I quickly realized how important this was…how important it is to not get wrapped up in the therapy so much that I lose sight of relationships being made.
During this session with the other therapist, the young girl engaged with me. She followed directions, not 100%, but significantly more so than previous sessions. She would follow directions if I verbally stated them….but if the other therapist stated them she would not. I realized then just how important trust and consistency truly is. She laughed with me and she talked with me (through many babbles and nonverbal language)…she actually wouldn’t stop talking :)!!! (And I will say that she even VERBALIZED "wi" (yes), "non" (no), and "ban mwen" (give me)!!!!!!) I just sat and smiled and pretended I knew what she was saying. So there we sat laughing, talking, and playing. We had a conversation about who knows what and we both fell into contagious laughter. CONNECTION! The connection has been made…the relationship has been built. We took pictures together…just her and I. My heart was immediately happy…and my eyes filled with tears. God is SOOOO good. We still ended the session in a massive amount of sweat, but we also ended the session with laughter and only ONE attempt at hitting. I will say it again…GOD IS SO GOOD!!!!
But as I sat there…my happiness was clouded over just a bit because I know in just 6 weeks I will be leaving. The next 6 weeks will fly by and just like that, I will be gone. So what will happen with this little girl? The other therapists are FABULOUS and completely have the ability to work with her…but for the past 2 months, I am all that she has known. I just wonder if she will feel I abandoned her or that I didn’t care. I wonder what will go through her precious little mind…will she even noticed that I am gone? All of this is exactly what I was feeling/experiencing when I left my job at Kenny Rogers and moved to Haiti. These same emotions were present in July as I said my goodbyes to “my” kiddos. The unknown...it is tough, but one thing I do know is that I truly will miss her just as I miss all my other kids!!!!
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