Blessings through the heaviness...

Last week was a long week full of ups and way too many downs. Heartache and joy overflowed each day. The stories that filled the week consisted of great sadness, confusion, and hopelessness at times. However, there were stories of overcoming barriers and obstacles and stories that have provided long awaited answers. It simply was a week of great emotional exhaustion as every hour of each day brought forth a roller coaster of emotion. As I sit and reflect on each and every story, the greatest joy overflows my heart as I think about one event. On Thursday, our two special needs classrooms had an end of the year party…and those kids and teachers know how to party. The party included dancing, singing, preaching, story time, a short film, more preaching, more dancing, and more singing. Whew. After 3.5 hours, the party came to an end and everyone went on their way. I headed back to the clinic and attempted to work, but I quickly realized I was not cut out for 3.5 hour long parties in the middle of the day. However, I was beyond blessed to be a part of the fun. Watching this group of teachers and students truly celebrate life with no worries in the world was amazing. The teachers celebrated each child in a way that made each of them feel deeply loved. They announced each kid and clapped as he/she danced his/her way into the classroom. They allowed each child to stand in front of the class to dance, sing, preach, or all of the above. Each student was told how perfectly and beautifully he/she was made. The pure joy written across each face expressed exactly what was felt on the inside. It was a blast!! Now enjoy some pictures of the event!!

Finding the Joy

...Sometimes…okay a lot of times…I get stuck into a routine, going through the motions. I find myself focusing on the “to do” list that oftentimes seems never ending and impossible to accomplish. By the day, more and more therapy referrals are received. By the weeks and months, outreach opportunities grow and grow. And most often, I find myself getting very overwhelmed by the high need of therapy services. My heart breaks with each person I have to put on a waiting list. My heart breaks with the thought of “what happens if I put this child on the waiting list, but she is given away or abandoned prior to receiving therapy services”. I often find myself thinking,  “oh gosh, I don’t think I can do this. I don’t know how to manage this demand. Am I doing this right? Am I doing this well enough?”. Doubt after doubt circulates through my mind. Recently, this is where I was - stuck. Stuck looking at the "to do" list, stuck in a routine, stuck going through the motions. But just the other day, I walked into the therapy room to grab a referral sheet to fill out for yet another new kid and as I walked through the threshold, I was smacked in my face. No, not by a hand of a child or a flying object, but by the joy that overflowed the space. I stopped dead in my tracks and looked around. I saw three patients receiving therapy while their parents were actively involved smiling and laughing. I saw staff members and a rehab tech student laughing, singing, and smiling while they were working with the kids. I saw patients and parents just hanging out in the clinic to chat with others. I saw pure joy. All doubts, all worries, all questions dissipated at that moment. I stopped and joined in on the fun. The laughter, dancing and smiles were just what I needed in that moment. The “to do” list no longer mattered. The many responsibilities disappeared. In that moment, all that mattered was being present. God quickly sent a gentle reminder of why HE put me on this journey. God works in ways that we will never know or see until eternal life. He puts us on journeys that we sometimes do not feel like we deserve or journeys that we feel we are not good enough to follow or journeys that we feel we are unsuccessful at or journeys that we simply are left to wonder “why me”. But He has a plan for it all…and as long as we hold onto HIM, all will be well. I will fully embrace the joy of this amazing journey....

That was written in late June/early July (yes...of 2017). I honestly forgot that I had written it until just recently. I do that a lot…write….but forget that I wrote and discover it later. Anyway…recently I feel that I was falling back into that cycle of going through the motions and losing sight of the important things. Losing my focus a bit. Putting too much on my plate. I absolutely THRIVE on being busy…and I LOVE it…at the same time, I also know when I put too much on myself. And I recently found myself there again…back to all those same questions, doubts, and the slight feelings of being overwhelmed. Feelings of not having enough hours in the day to accomplish all that needs to be accomplished. Then I realize, once again, that my flesh is what is placing all the expectations on me...not God. I am a better “me” when He leads me and not my “to do” list.

I feel sometimes that my self-doubt thoughts increase as the demand for services becomes greater and greater.

When those daunting self-doubting questions arise, I sometimes think that God laughs at me and probably wants to really just shake me and say “stop”….”just stop with all that questioning yourself”. I suppose that is an overall lack of self-confidence that I tend to fight against. I continuously remind myself - through Him I have what I need so there is no need to have a lack of confidence. God has the therapy program/clinic covered in His protection. God has all the children (and adults) who need therapy services in His protection. He will provide, I just need to follow his lead. In His timing he will provide. I just need to be still and listen. I go back to the saying “If God puts you on the journey, then he will provide for your journey”. No doubt exists in HIM only in our flesh. So for today, I will set aside my “to do” list and I will soak up the pure joy that overflows in the therapy room. I will laugh with the kiddos and I will cry with the mothers if needed. I will open my ears and my heart to hear the stories the families want to share. I will rejoice with new victories and pray through new struggles. I will simply be present.

Questions Intermingled with Victories

I hope you all have been blessed by reading about sweet Lala and her amazing papa. If you have not yet, then I encourage you to read the following blogs: 

"A Dad Holding His Child" (May 2016)

"The Journey of Lala" (March 2017)

"What's Up with Lala??" (May 2017)

Lala holds a very special place in my heart. This is true for many others who have been written gracefully into her story by our amazing Father. Her family loves her deeply and has overcome all adversities to successfully care for her. And now...Lala, well, she is walking. That is right, WALKING!!!! She is on the move and the world better watch out because she may just take over. The first time Lala walked in the clinic, I was brought to tears. I watched her papa just look at her walking with a smile on his face and a hand in the air praising our good Lord as he was so excited to introduce me to her. Lala and her papa have an inseparable bond and he is genuinely, wholeheartedly proud of her and her accomplishments. You know how are heavenly Father loves each of us, each of His children unconditionally? Well, that is Lala’s papa…he LOVES her UNCONDITIONALLY. He does not see her as a child with Down Syndrome. He views Lala as his precious gift from God who was made PERFECTLY. So many life lessons from this powerful duo. All the glory to God…. 

But…as I watched Lala walking around while her precious papa was looking on with the brightest smile I have ever seen, I could not help but to look at the mom of the other little girl in the room. I wondered what was going through her mind at that exact moment. She smiled and laughed as she watched Lala cruising around...then she would look at her own daughter and the smile would slowly fade away. It was not because love does not exist or her bond was limited, but her little girl has more significant disabilities and is not yet rolling or sitting or using her arms. The day of her being the one walking around the therapy room as every one rejoiced seemed very distant, potentially even impossible, at that exact moment. The fear and sadness was written upon her mother’s face. As I sat and rejoiced in Lala’s progress and her newly developed skill, I also fell into prayer for the other little girl and her mom. I wish I could tell them that one day, this will be them celebrating over the same victories; however I do not know that. Only God knows. It was then that I was reminded that the future of these kiddos and their families are unknown, unpredictable. Some of these children may never sit or stand or walk independently. Others may not learn to dress or feed themselves. At the same time, many will achieve all these milestones. So how do I answer the questions, “will she walk?”, “will she talk?”, “how come my child is not sitting or walking, but other kids are”, etc. Each question pierces my heart as I am not able to fully answer these questions. I often find myself saying “Bondeye Konnen”…”God Knows”. And that is the truth - It is not for us to try to figure it all out this side of heaven. I can encourage. I can educate. I can LOVE. I can CARE. I can PRAY. Every day we tend to be faced with the look of hopelessness…the look of fear…the look of desperation. A smile may be painted upon ones face, but the eyes tell the real story. I feel sometimes as each day passes, my heart is broken a little more. At the same time, joy fills the spaces that a broken heart tends to leave. A simple way of saying it - each day brings sadness but also much joy. For now, I will rejoice in the victories and I will pray through the questions. I will lay it all down at His feet. 

World Down Syndrome Day!!!

Again a little late....I really thought I had posted this already, but just now, I realized that it was still sitting in my "notes" section on my desktop just waiting to be posted.....

March 21st was World Down Syndrome Day....that day I sat down and wrote the following words.......

Today is World Down Syndrome Day!!

So….

What does that mean??

Take a minute to learn a little about this amazing day of awareness. 

March 21st is “World Down Syndrome Day” (WDSD). Seem like an odd or random day for such a thing?? Not really. March 21st has been selected as WDSD because it is the 21st day of the third month. Still a little confused?? Typically, each chromosome in a persons genetic make up have is a pair. However, in those with Down Syndrome, instead of duplication of the 21st chromosome, there is triplication resulting in three of the 21st chromosome. So March being the 3rd month signifies the triplication of the chromosome and the 21st signifies chromosome 21. 

A little history on this day….

Many countries around the world first celebrated WDSD in 2006; however March 21st was officially declared as World Down Syndrome Day by the UN in December of 2011 as the General Assembly stated beginning in 2012, March 21st would be observed yearly as WDSD. 

Why is this day important??

This is a tough question to answer in a brief message as this day is important for many reasons. I will keep it short though. Today is a day where awareness can be spread and advocacy can occur. Individuals with Down Syndrome are extremely amazing people. Unfortunately, in many countries this is not believed….and it would be naive to think that everyone in the United States was accepting of those with Down Syndrome. I bet we would all be a little shocked if we dove into statistics regarding abortion rates once parents discover their child has Down Syndrome.

One story I read within the past year provided information regarding Iceland and the attempt to almost “eliminate” Down Syndrome from their country. Close to 100% percent of unborn babies with Down Syndrome are aborted…let that sink in…almost ONE HUNDRED PERCENT. Those that choose not to abort are viewed as selfish for taking up resources and funds. What is even more horrific is the fact that the main hospital that completes these abortions hands the family a card that includes the sex and weight of the baby AND THE BABY’S FOOTPRINTS. If that does not anger you or make you sad, then I do not know what would. 

Other statistics…

• In Denmark, of those women who knew their baby had down syndrome, all except FOUR chose to end the pregnancy. (2017)
• Iceland - 98% are aborted (2017)
• United States - 67% are aborted (2017)
• France - 77% are aborted (2017)

I do not want to turn this into a debate over abortion laws, rather, I want this to raise awareness that due to lack of education in MANY countries, a high percentage of mothers are choosing to abort their baby due to a diagnosis of Down Syndrome. I would think that this comes from a place of fear and worry. Fear of the inability to care for a child with special needs. Worry about the child’s future. BUT….if you have ever had the pleasure to spend time with anyone who is diagnosed with Down Syndrome, then I think you would agree that they are the most amazing human beings. I truly, wholeheartedly believe that we are all to live our lives just as those with Down Syndrome do. They love without judgment and they love well. Just as God intended for HIS people. There is so much hatred going on in the world today. So much jealousy, judgment, anger, fighting, murder, etc. If we were all to LOVE each other just as individuals with Down Syndrome do, then this world would be one amazing place. 

I have been blessed to work with MANY kids and teenagers with Down Syndrome. Each child was unique in their own way; however one similarity amongst all was their ability to love no matter what the circumstance. The joy, the laughter, the smiles….that is how we are to carry ourselves through life by radiating nothing but JOY and LOVE. All the kiddos I have worked with have this figured out….it is time that we all figure it out as well. 

So today….and EVERY DAY….let’s advocate for Down Syndrome. Let’s educate and spread awareness. And let us all pray that one day the rate of abortions will decrease and the world will be blessed with a lot more love and joy!

3rd and BEST Health Fair!!!!

February 20^th marked the 3^rd special needs health fair. The health fair is by far a highlight of the year not only for myself, but for many others within Haiti as well as many from the states. Three main organizations join forces and host the health fair each year, typically in February. This year the therapy volunteers included: 23 rehab professionals, 5 therapy students, 4 layman, and 9 translators. I am not 100% sure of the numbers of the other volunteers but it was around 40-45. It was definitely the biggest turn out for the fair to date. It was a HUGE blessing to have so many people on hand, but even more amazing to witness each volunteers love for not only the children, but also their families.

The fair included:

- hand washing

- malnutrition screening

- nutrition education

- tooth brushing

- massage/therapy brush

- therapy ball training

- home exercise training

- medical evaluations

- therapy evaluations

All the booths were successful and each family received a therapy ball and therapy brush along with educational handouts for both.

For the therapy portion of the fair, each child received a basic therapy evaluation/screening. During this time, the needs for each child were determined. This year we were extremely blessed to have a speech therapist, a hand therapist, and an orthotist volunteer their time. It was so amazing to have volunteers within these specialities this year. I will definitely be praying for each of these areas to be covered in the following years for the fair.

Typically, I would post about how many kids attended the fair along with all the equipment each child received; however numbers do not really matter. The bigger picture is what really matters. The fact that God’s light shined down in ways that we could not have imagined is most important. Witnessing children and families rejoice in receiving a piece of equipment that not only promotes further development, but equipment that makes life just a tad bit easier. Witnessing a child smile and clap in a new stander or reach out their hand to wave while seated in a new chair. Witnessing a caregiver receiving advice on feeding and drinking that will prevent his/her child from aspirating. Witnessing kiddos dance and laugh without a care in the world for just a little while. The smiles. The newfound sparkle in a caregiver’s eye. The deafening laughter. All of this is what matters. 

Numbers may matter for things such as funding and grants. But at the end of the day, what actually matters is that God’s love, grace, and mercy overwhelmed an event that satan would have rather not occurred. The fact that God’s light was shining through each and every volunteer is what matters. Each and every child was received just as Jesus receives him/her – with love. It was a day spent where children and families did not have to worry about what others would think or say. It was a day full of joy. A day where parents proudly showed off their child and their new equipment. It was a day where nothing overcame the laughter as each child was celebrated. 

The health fair is near and dear to my heart. Many of us have witnessed it evolve over the years and this year was by far the most amazing year yet. The volunteers that gathered under one roof (or under the hot sun) were specifically hand picked by God. No doubt in my mind about this. God knew why He called each and every volunteer to this event. And I now know as well. I had the pleasure of witnessing each and every person LOVE, truly LOVE, the kids AND their families. It was simply amazing. God is good!!

Now enjoy some pictures from the amazing event – take a little time to really soak in the smiles you will see – these smiles are definitely straight from God :)